Okay, it’s not that this should matter to you, nor to anyone else. But, just so you know, I’m writing this down for the sake of coming up with something productive with my boredom. Actually, I was into another “activity” before I finally decided to just write a blog post. The “other” activity was pleasurable, but I kept yawning, don’t know why. And besides, that they say is making my brain shrink, but that’s another story.
So here, I listed down the reasons why I decided not to ever marry or be in any kind of relationship for that reason. For a brief background, I’m already in my mid 20s, still a student (shame…), unemployed, (double shame…), and finally, still dependent to my parents (grand slam shame!)
- I don’t want complications.
Should I explain that? I believe that’s very self-explanatory, not to mention obvious. Life is complicated enough alone. How much more if you add other human beings into the equation? It’s a formula for life-long misery and sorrow. I believe pains and all kind of aches are better manageable when they’re self-inflicted. Why, you can always opt your way out. Like when you choose a college degree you ended up hating. Whether you continue to crawl your way in or out is completely up to you. But when you decide to “settle down” and realize you other half isn’t exactly you expected him/her to be, the escape is trickier. Of course, you can always have your marriage annulled. Sorry, folks, divorce isn’t an option yet from where I came from. I know. It sucks. But, people, annulment is very, very expensive. It’s also an excruciatingly long process. So, yes, I’d rather be alone than stuck.
- When you’re married, your life is no longer yours.
Okay, again, I’m speaking about my culture and my opinion.
So, I’ve always been the “life has no purpose or meaning” kind of guy. I’m not exactly suicidal, but I’m saving that option should life come up with something I can no longer bear. The thing is, if I ever marry, I will have a better half to support. Then we will have children. There’s no longer just me. I will then have a family to feed – sometimes, an extended family even, but we’ll get to that in the next item. So, when things become too difficult to live with, I just can’t hang myself, or put a bullet through my head, or jump off the building. What’s gonna happen to the family I’ll then be leaving behind? Sure, life will go on for them… eventually. But the ultimate point is that I will be transferring the pain to them, pain that they will be carrying for the rest of their lives. How cruel of a parent to do that to his/her children. So as early as now, better keep things to myself.
- In my country, when you marry someone, you marry his/her entire family.
Unfortunately, it’s so true. And I just can’t do that. If ever I lost my sanity and decided to marry anyway, I’d have to make her disown her family.
Take my family as an example. The paternal side of my extended family has always been a pain in the ass. They seemed to forget that their son is already married. Why, they keep asking for money every effin month. The reasons, I’ll give them credit for the brilliant ideas, are unique and urgent every time. Alright, I’m not really against helping them, you see. It’s just that sometimes, they go overboard. It’s the fact they forgot that my father has a family to support, plus the monthly bills, that really ticks me off.
It’s a reality, not just in my family. In my country, even one’s farthest relative has a say on what college degree you should choose, on who you should marry, and how you should live your life in general. Well, if anyone does that to me, they can f*ck off and burn in hell.
- I’m an anti-natalist.
I’m not so sure about the term, but I believe I read this one time when I fell deep into Wikipedia rabbit hole. Sorry, too lazy to google now. An anti-natalist, as I remember, is someone who believes that people should not reproduce because life’s value is ultimately negative. Any positive experience that one might get from life, if there’s any at all, is ultimately overwhelmed and overshadowed by all the pain, misery, and suffering that life has in store.
Ever since, I have always asked why I am here and have always wished I could just stop existing. I’ve always felt like I was born without my consent, because if I had, I wouldn’t choose to be born. Why would I want to be born? This world is in the verge of chaos and destruction. People kill each other every day. People are slowly poisoning nature. Wars, diseases, and dirty politics. I must have gone crazy if I ever consented to my birth.
I won’t know if my future hypothetical offspring will ask these questions, see the world as I did, and regard life the same way I did. But I believe I owe it to them to spare them of the agony I’m going through right now. After all, life is still exactly the same way it was since the dawn of civilization. Otherwise, the concept of religion and philosophy wouldn’t have been realized.
- I’m a freak of Nature.
I wouldn’t expound on this one. But to give you an insight, I’m a freak. I’m an abomination. If God exists, then He must have cursed me. I’m unlike everyone else. Even among my kind, I’m a freak. I’m incapable of love and sex the same way normal human beings were made. So, I know, even if I give being normal a try, I would just fail. As Aesop said, nature will out. No matter what you do, your nature will prevail and it can never be changed. Fighting against it is like swimming against a strong current that you might as well let yourself drown and die.
So there you have it. Actually, I was to add a sixth one which would be “True love doesn’t exist,” but I decided against it. What do I know about love? I’ve never been in a relationship before so I wouldn’t know. And besides, I actually do think it does exist. How will I then explain why my parents still support me when I’m way past the age of consent? There’s should more to that than just parental obligation.
Never say never, they say. In the future, if I ever change my mind, it would just be a (happy?) coincidence. As of right now, I’m happy with being alone and single. And I intend to stay this way for as long as I can.